Wednesday, December 31, 2008

adieu

goodbye, Mr. Brenner. this building is less cheery without you around.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

ultimate lea-DEAD



my heart goes (to) Shanana-han. not.

torpedo the carriers

i knew i had lots of reasons to throw that thing out the window, and this is one of them.

everything

one of my favorite breakup songs ever:



somebody send me mp3s of The Scattering album (or better yet the whole CD! my cassette tape has been thrown in the history bin) and you will be my bff forever!
oh, the desperation.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

and now, let us have some fun ...

except of course, the Jets ...
... who painted themselves into a corner these last few weeks and had the dubious honor of having their former quarterback (whose jersey i still have, i might add) complete the paint job a few hours ago. starting tomorrow morning, we'll probably be seeing some heads roll.

... and Brett Favre ...
... who proved he still has some gas in his tank, but which was only enough for the 1st half of the season. we're gonna be seeing paragraphs along the lines of "... jogged off the field and into the locker room, maybe for the last time in a storied career." we don't know if he's still gonna have a career after this, but Green Bay has moved on without him. if we believe the fine gentlemen and scholars over at KSK, Peter King is willing to have Brett stay with him while he debates his next move.

... and Bill Belicheat ...
the only good thing about the Jets loss (and the Ravens win) was it took the Patriots down as well. it looks like QB Matt Cassel may be retained by New England, as their Golden Boy has been more preoccupied with squiring his Brazilian bitch than his rehab.

... and the Cromeo/Savage combo ...
who have been just snowblown out of cold, cold Cleveland. despite competent personnel, the Browns could not seem to utilize these advantages and ended up with a 4-12 record in incompetence.

... and speaking of incompetence...

here's the anti-2007 regular season Patriots. you don't deserve a bailout, Detroit.

and Chucky.

well, with only two playoff wins since their 2002 championship, and longtime defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin joining his son Lane with the Tennessee Vols, what can we console Jon Gruden with? let's ask his QB Jeff Garcia. "I'm still married to a Playboy Playmate, coach."

and oh yeah, hey, Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys? here's a big fat Fuck You from Andy Reid. a 44-6 F.U.


in other question marks, Larry Johnson is starting his campaign to whine himself out of KC, so any takers for a headcase? where is Ocho Cinco gonna end up? and who will claim the last AFC playoff spot, currently a toss-up at presstime between the mediocre Chargers and Broncos? here's to the last hurrah of the regular season.

and the cycle begins anew

goodbye, Tommy Boy. hello, Matt Cassel.

Friday, December 26, 2008

and now a word from the Friedman

as my wife would say "America's not all its cracked up to be ..."


----
Time to Reboot America
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN


I had a bad day last Friday, but it was an all-too-typical day for America.

It actually started well, on Kau Sai Chau, an island off Hong Kong, where I stood on a rocky hilltop overlooking the South China Sea and talked to my wife back in Maryland, static-free, using a friend’s Chinese cellphone. A few hours later, I took off from Hong Kong’s ultramodern airport after riding out there from downtown on a sleek high-speed train — with wireless connectivity that was so good I was able to surf the Web the whole way on my laptop.

Landing at Kennedy Airport from Hong Kong was, as I’ve argued before, like going from the Jetsons to the Flintstones. The ugly, low-ceilinged arrival hall was cramped, and using a luggage cart cost $3. (Couldn’t we at least supply foreign visitors with a free luggage cart, like other major airports in the world?) As I looked around at this dingy room, it reminded of somewhere I had been before. Then I remembered: It was the luggage hall in the old Hong Kong Kai Tak Airport. It closed in 1998.

The next day I went to Penn Station, where the escalators down to the tracks are so narrow that they seem to have been designed before suitcases were invented. The disgusting track-side platforms apparently have not been cleaned since World War II. I took the Acela, America’s sorry excuse for a bullet train, from New York to Washington. Along the way, I tried to use my cellphone to conduct an interview and my conversation was interrupted by three dropped calls within one 15-minute span.

All I could think to myself was: If we’re so smart, why are other people living so much better than us? What has become of our infrastructure, which is so crucial to productivity? Back home, I was greeted by the news that General Motors was being bailed out — that’s the G.M. that Fortune magazine just noted “lost more than $72 billion in the past four years, and yet you can count on one hand the number of executives who have been reassigned or lost their job.”

My fellow Americans, we can’t continue in this mode of “Dumb as we wanna be.” We’ve indulged ourselves for too long with tax cuts that we can’t afford, bailouts of auto companies that have become giant wealth-destruction machines, energy prices that do not encourage investment in 21st-century renewable power systems or efficient cars, public schools with no national standards to prevent illiterates from graduating and immigration policies that have our colleges educating the world’s best scientists and engineers and then, when these foreigners graduate, instead of stapling green cards to their diplomas, we order them to go home and start companies to compete against ours.

To top it off, we’ve fallen into a trend of diverting and rewarding the best of our collective I.Q. to people doing financial engineering rather than real engineering. These rocket scientists and engineers were designing complex financial instruments to make money out of money — rather than designing cars, phones, computers, teaching tools, Internet programs and medical equipment that could improve the lives and productivity of millions.

For all these reasons, our present crisis is not just a financial meltdown crying out for a cash injection. We are in much deeper trouble. In fact, we as a country have become General Motors — as a result of our national drift. Look in the mirror: G.M. is us.

That’s why we don’t just need a bailout. We need a reboot. We need a build out. We need a buildup. We need a national makeover. That is why the next few months are among the most important in U.S. history. Because of the financial crisis, Barack Obama has the bipartisan support to spend $1 trillion in stimulus. But we must make certain that every bailout dollar, which we’re borrowing from our kids’ future, is spent wisely.

It has to go into training teachers, educating scientists and engineers, paying for research and building the most productivity-enhancing infrastructure — without building white elephants. Generally, I’d like to see fewer government dollars shoveled out and more creative tax incentives to stimulate the private sector to catalyze new industries and new markets. If we allow this money to be spent on pork, it will be the end of us.

America still has the right stuff to thrive. We still have the most creative, diverse, innovative culture and open society — in a world where the ability to imagine and generate new ideas with speed and to implement them through global collaboration is the most important competitive advantage. China may have great airports, but last week it went back to censoring The New York Times and other Western news sites. Censorship restricts your people’s imaginations. That’s really, really dumb. And that’s why for all our missteps, the 21st century is still up for grabs.

John Kennedy led us on a journey to discover the moon. Obama needs to lead us on a journey to rediscover, rebuild and reinvent our own backyard.

Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

yes, i still want to go.

Burrets over Broadway

bye, Plax. it was nice knowing you. thanks for the SuperBowl ring. (well, actually i didn't get one)

flyer

no, thanks; i'll stick with the classic one. we found one on the street a couple of months ago. its now temporarily loaded with shoeboxes.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

and a Merry Christmas to you too.

again, from that Easterbrook fellow:
-------
Last week, Louise Story of The New York Times reported that Merrill Lynch top executives awarded themselves between $5 billion and $6 billion in bonuses in 2006, based on claims of spectacular gains in mortgage-based securities. This year, it turned out the claims were false: Merrill declared a $19.2 billion loss on mortgage paper, and the 2006 results were "written down" (declared worthless). Merrill was sold at a distress price to Bank of America, and shareholders were clobbered in the transaction. Yet Merrill executives kept the bonuses. As stock prices have tumbled, many financial companies have admitted to cooked books, declared big losses and taken huge write-downs. Charles Prince, who was recently shown the door as CEO of Citigroup, paid himself $110 million in bonuses for five years as CEO, and upon departure, received an exit package worth $68 million which included such absurd perks as a car and driver for life. Owing to bad management moves by Prince, Citigroup's share price fell 60 percent during his tenure, costing stockholders $64 billion in lost value, yet Prince got to keep the bonuses. Angelo Mozilo, the CEO of Countrywide Financial, which melted down as a result of its sale of gimmick loans, paid himself $410 million over the past eight years, plus many perks such as private jet travel for his wife. In the year before Countrywide was also acquired at a distress price by Bank of America, the company's stock plunged almost 85 percent, costing stockholders about $20 billion in lost value -- yet Mozilo got to keep the bonuses.

Very high pay to Wall Street managers is justified on the grounds that they are financial geniuses with astonishing expertise. Instead it turns out many financial industry managers made basic blunder after basic blunder. The 2008 financial markets crash belies the entire premise of Wall Street -- that the people there deserve huge paychecks for incredible skill in finance. Any fool can make money in a rising market by borrowing! But if the rise stops and you're leveraged, you hit the wall. This is the short version of how many Wall Street and hedge fund managers appeared to be "financial geniuses" from 2003 to 2006, then ended up destroying their investors. The financial manager with true expertise knows to avoid bubbles, especially bubbles based on borrowing. Many Wall Street and big-bank managers during the housing bubble were taking wild risks or performing no due diligence -- and when the risks blew up, they got to keep their bonuses while investors and stockholders got hosed. At this point, it's totally obvious the system is rigged -- lie about returns (or take crazy risks), claim a spectacular year, award yourself a vast bonus. When the scandal hits, so what? You keep the bonuses. TMQ's basic question: Why isn't this considered embezzlement, punishable by law? Financial managers have a fiduciary responsibility to act in their investors' interest. When financial managers instead act against their investors' interest in order to line their own pockets, that isn't just cynical -- that sounds like a crime.

Note 1: In case you're wondering, I hold no grudge against Wall Street since I've had no problems -- years ago I took my own advice and kept my money far away from highly paid financial managers claiming to possess incredible insider expertise. Note 2: Here, Robert Chew describes how he lost his life savings by entrusting the money to Bernard Madoff. Why did he do it? Chew had some rich relatives who invested with Madoff, and whispered about how Madoff had a super-secret investing formula. Tuesday Morning Quarterback repeats: There are no secret investing formulas! If there were, Goldman Sachs (which still exists) would immediately buy them.


-----

it's a wonderful life - NOT! why bother living eh?

turn the tide

next stop: Jets! LOL kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddding. of course not.

Monday, December 22, 2008

and i don't even have one.

the baby factory is still at it.

if they were illegal immigrants, and all those 18 kids would be American citizens, siphoning off precious dollars from welfare and my tax money, i'd really be fucking pissed.

ads for stupid

well, obviously am not the target audience of these idiotic ads. could it be ... them?




ok, they really want you to win dinner for two at Chili's. suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.

bundle up!

big blue streak

to ease the pain of the stinker laid by the Jets, NY's (sorry, NJ's!) other team took control of their conference by beating the Carolina Panthers in OT.

after the game, Ken Lucas flew back to Charlotte immediately for obvious reasons.

you would think the Panthers, by copying the Giants' formula (great O-Line, dual running backs, ferocious pass rush, superstar WR), would be able to take the defending champs down. and they almost did. Plax wasn't there. DeAngelo Williams had 4 TDs. they had a 21-10 lead for most of the 1st half.

but the original purveyors are still the best. Derrick Ward + Brandon Jacobs = 302 yards, 3 TDs.

after winning the SuperBowl last February as the underdog that caught everybody nodding off, the Giants now have all the advantages and it remains to be seen if they're still hungry enough for a second Lombardi.

having missed out on the first one, Tiki Barber wants to cry now on national TV.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

SSD >= HDD

the future is coming

should i stay or should i go

Bron-Bron staying with Cavs, according to ESPN.

nu-uh, Clevelanders. i'd advise you not to let your guard down. we're still gonna gun for your boy.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

misinformer

this thing is a parrot that needs to have its head blown off. seriously. i volunteer to pull the trigger.

worst. Christmas. ever.
i'll believe it when i see it

now you ask for mercy too

"... penned a contrite handwritten letter"? yeah, right. more like a torture-extracted apology.

you're already a hero in the Arab world, and you still want to be twice over by getting a reprieve. sure hope it doesn't work that way.



yes, you devervet it!!!!

now you ask for mercy

i bet he wouldn't do this if Obama wasn't in charge.

His lawyers say Lindh never fought against American forces and received a harsher sentence because sentencing occurred after the September 11, 2001, attacks in New York, Washington and rural Pennsylvania.

"This is the Christmas season, and it's a time for mercy," said Lindh's mother, Marilyn Walker.

Appearing before a U.S. district judge in 2002, Lindh said he "made a mistake by joining the Taliban" and "had I realized then what I know now about the Taliban, I would never have joined them."

horseradishit. its typical behavior for this American generation to never think before doing something.

he wouldn't be asking this if he threw a shoe at Dubya in 2001.

even death pales

this is in revenge for being mocked on SNL.

New Yorkers would face tax hikes on beer, wine, non-diet soft drinks, and digital services like iTunes downloads. Cab fares would rise 4 percent while the cost of cable and satellite TV services, tickets for sporting events and movies would also jump by the same percentage.

The plan also includes reductions in school aid by $698 million, $3.5 billion in health-care cuts and the elimination of 521 state jobs.

wheeeeeeee! why even live here???

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

not surprising



remember this moment (even Rudy made it back in 2001), and cross your fingers, boys and girls.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

fixing the PS3

is it dying? [PC Mag]

short term: price cut!
long term: roll out consistent hit games!

the problem with Blu-Ray is that Joe Q Average won't be looking at PS3 as a Blu-Ray player as he isn't a gamer.

Monday, December 15, 2008

96 Bulls have competition



holy crap! two of the most storied franchises of the game are chasing Michael Jordan's 1996 Bulls and history. for more, keep coming back here. [ESPN]

everything you want




Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return


He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say


But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return


I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know

over here, guv'nah

aw, c'mon .... !

for those who missed it ... get a load.

(hey, i always help that blind commuter who always boards from 77th St on the R train!)

rats

i knew a long time ago that i would never bring my (future) kids to this place.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008

now we bring the popcorn (and the soda)

it took what, more than two years? but here it is, and we're expecting fireworks.

breaking: Obama helped Japan bomb Pearl Harbor!

man, these Fox News pundits are getting tiresome ...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

bad behavior

the newschannels are buzzing this week with bad behavior by some New York douchebags, starting with three NYPD officers (dubbed the 'Sodomy Cops') who were charged today for brutalizing a Brooklyn dude in a Park Slope subway station.

Richard Kern, below left, gets the most serious charge (aggravated sexual assault). is it amusing that Googling his image would result in this?



the dude on the right, is Michael Mele, who right off the bat, looks like a douchebag. turns out he's a registered sex offender and is the prime suspect in the disappearance of naive Brooklyn transplant Laura Garza, who was last seen leaving a trendy nightclub with Mele at 4 AM. if your head is screwed on straight, lady, you don't go clubbing up to 4 AM and you don't go with strange men (unless he's reaaaaaally your BFF). puh-leaze.

Mele is apparently well-connected, and will probably be gunning for all reporters and bloggers who besmirched his good name, once he's been acquitted. more specifically, he will be gunning the guys down, and then raping and killing the ladies. ahm shakin' in mah boots now.

ka-blag!

well, well, that would go well in Washington. during these times when people are trying to save their jobs (even the crooks), he openly shits on the law. if Obama's serious about cleaning house and a whole new ballgame, this prick should be made an example of.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

well, he didn't like spreading the wealth anyway

from sportswriter Gregg Easterbrook [ESPN.com/Page 2]

Stop Subsidizing the Well-Off: Now that the presidential campaign is over, it's time to ask a question about John McCain: Since he and his wife earn more than $6 million per year, why does McCain take $82,000 annually in federal pensions? (John and Cindy's financial disclosures can still be found here.) McCain earned the pensions, but clearly does not need them. Every pension dollar he pockets is passed on to our children as debt, or subtracted from resources that could be spent on the needy or for rebuilding the country. McCain could have his pensions canceled, or simply tear up the checks. Instead, federal taxpayers, with a median household income of $49,000, give McCain $82,000 a year he does not need.

The Arizona senator is hardly the only person drawing subsidized pensions he or she doesn't need. Many billions of dollars per year in Social Security, military and government-employee pensions go to people who already have hefty incomes. The country has just borrowed insane amounts of money to fix the financial meltdown. Little fairies will not come in the night to replace that money. The national debt must be paid down somehow. Want an across-the-board tax increase? A much smaller defense budget? Drastic Medicare cuts? Social Security retirement age raised to 75? There's only one place where the federal government could take a big step in the direction of fiscal responsibility without causing any suffering or harm -- eliminating Social Security, military and government-employee pension payments to the well-off. Senator McCain: How about setting a good example by tearing up those checks?


---
the irreverent blogosphere may consider Easterbrook a blowhard, but he writes some good stuff too.

nerves of steel

we 'suggest' you throw him out the window (10th floor will do)

Monday, December 8, 2008

best reason to get HDTV

ouch.

"you're my idol, Oscar, dat's why i'm rearranging your face."


doesn't matter; he's richer than you or me, even if we can afford an HDTV.

hale to the mc

number four, come on down - T-Wolves GM Kevin McHale replaces Randy Wittman as coach.

with the 4-15 Wolves going nowhere, perhaps this is a good time as any for McHale to totally destroy save the team. he did coach the team before and did better than expected.

owner Glen Taylor had this to say:

"Kevin has assembled the players on this team, and believes in their talent and skill level," Taylor said. "It is my expectation that Kevin will be able to get the most out of our team and our players in his new role as head coach. He has been involved in the NBA game for almost 30 years, is a tremendous teacher and has a wealth of basketball knowledge. I am confident that our players will respond to the new voice and perspective that Kevin will provide."
translation: you built this junk, you coach this junk. shades of Isiah Thomas?

fans in the Great White North have not yet forgotten how he gave away Kevin Garnett to his old friend Danny Ainge. i still keep my Wolves cap for sentimental reasons (Winter 2003), but that's all KG.
"I truly believe that we have a talented group of players in our locker room who have a great amount of potential," said McHale. "I'm confident that we can get this turned around and get back to playing a brand of basketball that our fans can be proud of."

translation: oh, shit.

the way of the gun

New Yawkers waking up this cold friggin' 20 degree F morning will probably see this article on the tabs or news channels.


the Post is kind of grinning at another of their clever puns. anyway, as the article posits, Police Commish Ray Kelly is arming the NYPD to prepare for Mumbai-style terrorist attacks, with the use of the "M4 Machine Guns".


somebody correct me, but does an M4 technically qualify as a machine gun? it is an assault rifle, for all intents and purposes. if you tell me to bring a machine gun, i'd be bringing an M-60 or a SAW. i dunno.

and so far no one has been prepared for attacks of that magnitude, even though preparation is the mother of success, and the media hype that comes along with it. the odds are it would happen again in another city rather than in NYC (which would then be a credit to the NYPD's preparation and paranoia, until someone sleeps on the job).

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Saturday, December 6, 2008

when they say 'pay', they mean it.

what does this non-title fight mean, aside from a hefty pocketful of $$$ for all parties involved?


well, maybe some national pride. the insult/payback storyline sounds like a cliched WWE script. Manny may be the only national icon the common Pinoy folk can root for.

keep punchin', Pacman. don't forget your roots. don't let the crabs bring you down. don't even run for office, for Chrissakes. you're rich, use it for the good. be an Elorde, not an Onyok or Navarette.


update: well, well, well. looks like Dela Hoya will retire bitterly. bitterly rich.

too bad my dad missed this. but maybe he didn't. he could've been watching from heaven last night.

Friday, December 5, 2008

hampered memory

an amazing story ... wait, what did we just read?

drizzle

the new 'Berry sucks. well, Wired said so. like it or not, the iPhone is a monster you can't ignore.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

it's all about timing

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

you're actually adding a dollar more to his loot

you, sir, are a moron, if you expect us to believe this shit. wait, the readers are believing this shit and they started a pity party? morons, all a'youse.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

dr. feelbad

reminds me of that 'Pepsi 349' incident years ago, where Pepsi had a lotto-style contest for numbers hidden under bottle caps, and refused to pay up when a gazillion people had the winning number.

"that guy looks homicidal."

behavioral screening huh? what if you run into the best fakers?

Monday, December 1, 2008

drainage

is it any wonder how other people can look at blacks with disdain?

sometimes, Reverend Wright, people shoot themselves in the foot. the government may have unfair policies, but there's also something called taking responsibility for yourself.

you're almost a year late

did we need an official CNN headline?


officials either like living in denial or they're really morons.

and now he whines

well, if you weren't such an asshole in the first place ... asshole.

ok, i am officially a terrorist.

or something like that.

(ok, maybe the polite term is person of interest)

because i am on the Philippines' "Look Out List". i mean, seriously. doesn't it look like a prank? i'm on the LOL list.


let's have the backstory first.

a couple of weeks ago, i went to the Philippine Embassy to renew my passport. they issue this new fandangled machine-readable (a.k.a. swipe-able) passports and thus a few requirements changed. fine, i went through having my pics taken by a fly-by-night photo studio housed in a small 3rd floor room in one of those dingy suspicious-looking buildings in Avenida, all because the great Philippine Embassy couldn't swing a deal to allow "commercial photography business" in the basement of their building (which they used to), apparently due to the fact that their landlord didn't allow it.

after taking a number to fall in line in a queuing system (where eventually the numbering isn't followed anyway, which is par for the course for Filipinos), i was eventually accommodated by a staffer familiar to me by face. after looking at my papers, he reported to me that i was flagged by the computer and required some clearance. i was dumbfounded.

a little bit more backstory: i was a government scholar for my full 5 year university course, and the price of having free tuition would be to work in the Philippines for the same length of time. if the line of work necessitated having to travel abroad (which it did), i was required to ask permission and procure a clearance letter first. completing more than enough years, i secured a final clearance, which allowed me to travel to the U.S. for further employment, and permanently dismiss the temporary hold order on flying out of the Philippines.

i argued with the embassy staff that how could i be able to
(a) gain employment in the U.S.
(b) renew my passport in the years since
(c) fly home and back just three years ago

without clearance from the Motherland?

show us the letter of clearance, they said.

ok, fine, whatever.

having moved since the last time i renewed my passport, i didn't seem to have a copy of the clearance letter (which leads me to think i didn't need it when i had to renew since i. was. not. on. any. damn. list.). i got a scanned copy of the letter from my family, and returned to the embassy days ago.

and what do you know?

i can't decide on this, its not the original. you have to talk to an officer.

officer says, you're on the Look Out List. yes, like i didn't know that yet.

i posit the same arguments above. officer deftly avoids how the eff that happened and goes back to the point that i am on the list, and they can't do anything about it. they never even check who the heck i am, never look at my (allegedly) unblemished record. the only way out, i was told, is to tell the DFA that i'm not supposed to be on the list in the first place. of course, to do that, i have to ask someone physically back home to do the legwork for me. what happens to someone who has barely any family or acquaintances left?

i can only speculate as to how my name got (back) on the list, or if this is a totally different list. i registered here once to vote (back when they operated a photo studio in the basement) but i never actually voted. maybe they thought i was a fake because i was a no-show. or the latest list of people to watch out for got corrupted, and someone restored a backup copy from the last millennium. or someone has an axe to grind with me, and submitted my name for kicks.

until i get this ironed out, i am officially a man without a country. or a man on the run. going by how information gets distorted after a transfer of hands, i could be a terrorist.

so if i disappear past the publish date of this post, some people may have read it, and i have been 'taken for processing'.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

look who was in town



that's not the highlight of her career so far, but the road ahead is open and wide. let's have her do originals soon.

scratching and clawing

ok, let's see the bitch her broker a new Middle East peace agreement, like Bill did.

(which of course, will be undone by some dark age zealot)

(in which case, we should slap John Lennon around and tell him we gave peace all the chances)

who will be the turkey?



who would have thought that through 11 games, the former backup would be better than the superstar?

Mike Turner vs. LDT, head to head:

Rushing Yards: 1,088 to 770
Rush Avg. 4.3 to 3.8
Longest Run: 66 to 41
TDs: 13 to 6 (1 receiving)
Rushing 1st Downs: 56 to 35
Total Points: 78 to 36

the only advantage LDT has right now is receiving yards and other reception-related stats, but that has been Tomlinson's trademark anyway as an all-around back. granted, he's had nagging injuries but perhaps San Diego would not be 4-7 if they kept Turner to, in turn, save Tomlinson for the playoffs.

as it is, Turner, along with potential Rookie of the Year Matt Ryan, is making Atlanta forget Michael Vick and leading the Falcons' charge into the postseason.

gametime: 4.05 PM EST @ QualComm Stadium

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Plax puts foot in gun

looks like Domenik Hixon will see more burn.


update: now they're saying he shot himself in the thigh, so the post title is rendered incorrect.

ok, this is pushing it.

Friday, November 28, 2008

the blessings of sleeping late

i mean, is Black Friday worth your life? the worker was just doing his job, and the backlash would have been bigger if it was a shopper. speaking of which, we usually go back to the Dark Ages when going shopping. American consumerism is alive and well. what recession are they talking about?

i'm not sure who's spinning what, with conflicting reports that the victim was a temporary maintenance worker, or a full time clerk, trying to hold back the unruly crowds.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

a summer blockbuster in the making

calling Hollywood action auteurs!


and you should make it soon, then donate all (and i mean all) profits to the victims.

why are you still here?



if you don't wanna play, just go away.

turkey time



kidding. in honor of the Native Americans who died since, we are having adobo and fruit salad.

birds swam



the bitch was shut up. good for us.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

ouch!

wasn't too long ago ...


the curse will never go away; everyone in New York say a novena for Brett Favre.

one thing's for sure ...

... they won't fit into three subway seats.


Mama McNabb, time to call the moving vans.

Mr. Reid, have you visited the doc lately? and oh, please don't run into Charlie Weis. that would be a catastrophic collision.

Monday, November 24, 2008

dumbo

well, its my highest priority that my children's generation (or at least my children) will be so much better than this one.

finally, someone had balls!

this doesn't even cover the rapes committed by KBR people. after this, we want to hear Blackwater is next on the list.

is Antarctica a country?

would they avoid difficult questions?

Sunday, November 23, 2008

and he's baaaaaaack!



with this two-hour teaser leading into the resumption of the regular series in January, Jack raises hell again, this time in Africa. that only leaves Australia and Antarctica as the continents where Jack hasn't killed anyone (am sure he may have killed a prisoner or two during his incarceration in China between Seasons 5 and 6).

escaping the long arm of the law, Jack can only run so far as he is still served with a subpoena in deepest Africa (tsk tsk, damn lawyers) - which he obviously flouts. reluctantly leaving his safe haven with an old friend Benton (the always underrated Robert Carlyle), who is running a school for kids, he only manages to take a few steps out the door before he is yanked back into saving the world again.

a coup d'etat funded by shadowy elements of the US government (well, who else is well-placed to do these things?) puts Jack and the kids on the run to the US Embassy (currently being evacuated a-la Vietnam), resulting in Jack being placed back in US custody.

24 has a knack for having insights into the future, as the new President takes office as these events happen, a Laura Bush look-alike taking over from Noah Daniels (Powers Boothe). remember, 24 even had two black presidents before Barack actually even won the office. of course, let's just skip the fact that one was assassinated and the other one injured.

with even more skulduggery afoot (Jon Voight reprising his role in Enemy of the State), Jack will have to bail us out again, within twenty four hours. there isn't time, dammit!


wow. there's a Carly Pope sighting. been awhile, girl.

being myself

finally, a film worthy of Keanu Reeves' wooden-ness.

no, we just hate Kanye.

doesn't it look strange?



and he ends up on the winning end in both cases. bastard.

ten and one

Titans finally stumble, to Brett's Jets.


(ESPN/AP/J. Russell)


now it remains to be seen whether they finish with a flourish, like the 2006 Colts, or mirror last year's juggernaut, the boys from New England.

fate is a coin

not only do the Patriots have to make a decision, but Gisele Bundchen as well.

like i said, somewhere out there, Bridget Moynahan is smiling.
i'd have some of that!

throwdown

well, that's something positive you can do for a change.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

in this corner

ex-Vike and former #7 bust pick Troy Williamson wants to whup his former coach




"I ain't going to try to dig it back up because I can really, really go at coach Childress, but I'm not going to do it."
- Troy Williamson, not playing on Sunday

"Do you need my reach? I'm not like a woman; I'll give you my weight. It's 190 pounds of twisted steel and rompin', stompin' dynamite. Is that enough humor for you?"
- Coach Brad Childress

place your bets.

(this better not be a prank)
drive them off a cliff!!!

you really hate progress, do you?

what, you mean he can't be eloquent? maybe the kids would learn a thing or two.

According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a president who speaks English as if it were his first language.

"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."

The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate -- we get it, stop showing off."

after years of the Bush admin conducting business through doublespeak and lies, you really want someone to pander to the people and make them feel you're one of them and you don't know shit, rather than projecting a sense of intelligence and telling the truth in clear concise terms? is that the people talking or is it just you, Mr. Logsdon?

Palin the PornStar, er, sorry ... the Alaskan Govnuh tries to put in her three cents in her last bid to stay in the limelight:

"Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.

oh, really now? maybe you should've started talking like that and you might have won, dumbass.

welcome to the new 21st century. get used to it.



what, you guys can't take a joke?

Monday, November 17, 2008

wide right

Buffalo misses again. Rian Lindell puts on a Scott Norwood mask.
meh.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

now he wasn't beaten by a bunch of penguins

stuck in bumfuck

its usually "Bumfuck, Iowa", but in this case, its "Bumfuck, North Carolina".

kidding. but please never ever:
- take US Airways
- book yourself in the Days Inn Charlotte Airport Coliseum

bad weather on the East Coast caused my flight out of New York to be delayed, and also causing me to miss my connecting flight to Houston from Charlotte. maybe it wasn't totally the airline's fault, but docking me $15 for my checked bag, not offering me alternative accommodations, and basically not being able to help me out causes me to be leery of them.

the situation was compounded by a bad decision on which hotel to stay the night, and made even worse by not being booked in the place i was thinking of. so instead of being near the Charlotte public transport system (which would have taken me to downtown in half an hour), i'm waaaaaaaaay out in the boondocks.


so the only decent place to have a meal for someone who doesn't drive (like me) and a cheapskate (like me) is at the end of several high-volume roads with hurtling tons of metal.


you can easily trace how i got from point A to point B. by walking.

on the bright side, the Panthers won.
the bad thing is i wasn't outside the Bank of America stadium when it happened.

on the brighter side, Cracker Barrel had nice and cheap meals. the Sunday Homestyle Chicken hits the spot.

then Jax has Tennessee on the ropes. until i was finishing this post. see ya later.
"playoffs? you're talkin' 'bout playoffs? sure!!!"

Friday, November 14, 2008

yeah. that's one ballsy SOB.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Tom who?

i am able to watch Thursday Night Football on NFL Network, courtesy of ATDHE.net and my favorite football blog, KSK. not having NFL Network at all (who does???) on my basic cable, i'm a little disappointed with TNF. is this it? talking heads yakking most of the game especially during the Jets drives?? WTF??

at the close of the 3rd quarter, an 18 point Jet lead dwindled to 3. Matt Cassel is trying his damndest to make everyone forget Tom Brady.

wait, maybe this is one of those wrestling dramas - Cassell takes off his helmet (and mask) revealing ... Tom Brady!!!

update: tied at 24, 10 minutes to go. crap.

update 2: Meagan Good's boyfriend finally breaks through. finally! 3 minutes to go.

update 3: that was a nerve-wracking 1:41! dammit! overtime!

update 4: kick it dammit!!!!



YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

high school musical

Rockets/Suns last night. with all the shoving and posturing, this looks soooo high school.




T-Mac nastily shoves our 3rd favorite Canadian (Wolverine first, then Celine DionElisha Cuthbert) to the ground. ooooooooooooo. that's so braven.






Shaq clearly wants to er, throw his weight around. Yao Ming drops like a sack of rice. tsk tsk. the Red Army won't be pleased.